Drug Tests are a Sham

Drug testing is an idea that doesn’t live up to the hype. Maybe it sounds good on paper, but I think the unintended consquences of broad drug testing negate any positive effects that come out of it. Since we’re about to have a baby, I’m going to focus on that.

Like many places in the country, Cincinnati is experiencing the heroin epidemic. Last year, the Cincinnati Enquirer won a Pulitzer prize for Seven Days of Heroin, which I highly recommend. It’s more present and visible than ever, and I’ve personally seen and heard shocking, depressing things close to home.

A few years ago, in response to the spike in opiate use, Cincinnati hospitals began universal testing on mothers and newborns. Mothers are welcome to opt out of the test, but if they do, the baby will be tested. If mother or baby fails, the child is kept for observation.

Here’s the thing. You can absolutely test positive for opiates by eating poppy seeds. Bagels, muffins, chips, salad dressing. Federal prisons banned poppy seeds in the 80’s so they could keep having reliable tests. It’s been a joke for so long there was an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine failed for eating a muffin.

There are plenty of instances of this happening to women and their newborns. One story took place at a hospital 5 minutes away from us. Mother had a false positive due to a bag of bagel chips. They didn’t let her take the baby home and required her to be supervised when with her child for 2 months at threat of taking her child away.

Can you imagine not being able to take your newborn baby home because of something you know to be false? Can you imagine not being able to be alone with your child? It’s devastating.

When the stakes are this high, how can we rely on something so faulty?

I understand as a community we’re sometimes in a situation that requires drastic action. But until testing becomes more reliable and less damaging to innocent people, I say throw it out the window.